


vAMpIreS

by subminimal (markymark261)



Category: Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and Friends crossover
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-12-08
Updated: 2003-12-08
Packaged: 2017-10-21 18:52:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/228476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/markymark261/pseuds/subminimal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Friends: The One With The Slayer</p>
            </blockquote>





	vAMpIreS

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story. All characters are copyright their respective owners.
> 
> Author's Note: This story takes place somewhere in Season 6 of Buffy when Willow was with Tara.

It was a day like any other day when Buffy The Vampire Slayer wandered into Central Perk and walked up to the six people sitting there.

"Hey, how you doin'?" asked Joey.

"Hi, handsome. Call me Buffy. I'm on vacation, but I found out that a master Vamp was operating from here."

"But, but, but you can't be here," whined Ross, "you're a fictional character."

"I've not got time for explanations," explained Buffy, "I'm looking for someone here who never goes out in the light of day."

But just as she said it, Gunther appeared behind her, his face morphing, and, before Buffy could react, he'd, unbelievably, attacked and defeated her.

"I'm dying ... again ... typical," said Buffy with her last dying breath.

"And getting blood everywhere," shrieked Monica, attempting to clean it up.

"Buffy's gone, we've got to help ourselves," yelled Phoebe, plunging her guitar handle through Gunther's chest, while Joey, realizing the disintegrating Gunther was distracted, and misunderstanding Phoebe's battle cry, helped himself to the snacks behind the counter.

"You're getting dust everywhere," yelled Monica, trying to choose whether to move to cleaning up the dust or whether to stick with the blood.

At that moment the truth struck Phoebe, "I'm Buffay The Vampire Slayer."

"But you can't be," whined Ross, "When Buffy died at the end of season one Kendra was activated, her next deaths wouldn't activate any slayers."

"Hey, I'll need an uptight guy who knows all about slayer lore," said Phoebe excitedly, "and you like libraries..."

"Uh, gee, ok," said Ross bashfully.

"And I'll need a whiny sister."

At that moment Ursula walked into Central Perk, looking at the floor. "OK" she moaned resignedly.

"And I'll need a wise-cracking friend," continued Phoebe.

"Could I **_be_** any more Xander?" emphasized Chandler.

"And I need a handsome stud-muffin with a dodgy English accent that I can have my wicked way with whenever I want."

"Cor bloimey, Mary Poppins," said Joey with a smile on his face.

And then his smile grew wider. Pointing at Monica and Rachel, he yelped "Ooh Ooh Ooh. You know what that makes you?"

"Well, I don't know if I'm willing to go that far?" shrugged Rachel.

"We could always get another of Ross' ex-wives to do it," pointer out Joey.

"OK, I guess. If the slayer needs us," sighed Rachel.

"If she's game I am," added Monica enthusiastically.

Monica reached for Rachel, their eyes met, and then Joey heard a ringing in his ears.

"Darn alarm clock," exclaimed Joey. "It was all a dream. How lame is that?"

THE END


End file.
